Steak-Eating 101

You're in a nice restaurant. You've just ordered a steak that is, in the most literal sense possible, perfect. You pick up your knife and fork, and are just beginning to cut a nice piece when the guy at the table next to yours blows his nose really, really hard. Sploop! Now your nice juicy steak, the most perfect steak ever crafted in a kitchen, has a nice juicy fist-sized snot on it.

Now what? You go and deck the guy, right? More than likely, you expect some compensation from him, or at the very least, an apology. Maybe you threaten him with legal action. The point is, you understand who's at fault, and you act accordingly.

You certainly don't leap up from your chair, stomp into the kitchen, and scream at the chef. You don't blame the waiter, you don't threaten to sue the restaurant, and you don't demand to speak with the manager about the 'terrible service'.

The exact circumstances in the above situation can vary greatly, but the rules are generally the same: You don't blame people who aren't responsible.

The hotel industry is in Bizarro World. Your neighbor is making noise. You don't call them up and complain, or threaten them, or curse and scream at them, or demand that they pay for your room. Nope, you call the desk clerk and chew him out for a half-hour instead. Fuck going after the source of the problem.

Another example of Bizarr-ho-tel-ness? Haggling over the price. Strange that you can go into a grocery store, find out what the price of something is, decide whether you want to spend the money on it, and then leave without a fuss. Whereas, with hotels, you go in, find out the price of a room, and then haggle and grumble and complain and whine and fuss ("But it's two-thirty in the morning! I'm not even going to be here for more than four hours!") ... and then rent the room anyway.

Imagine if Safeway got that sort of treatment:

CUSTOMER: "This gallon of milk is three bucks. Three bucks! I won't even drink the whole thing before it goes bad! I don't want to spend three bucks on that milk anyway. Can you go any lower?"

CLERK: "Uhh ... no?"

CUSTOMER: "I'm walking out the door, then! You sure you can't give me a better deal on the milk? I can't see the sense in paying for it if I'm only going to use a little of it."

CLERK: "Sorry, the price is three dollars."

CUSTOMER: "..... Fine! Screw you anyway! Fred Meyer's down the street has milk for two fifty-nine! You've just lost out on three bucks, asshole!"

Happens all the time in the hotel business.